the double-edged fear of writing

Summer has drawn to an end and I find myself no more familiar with my blog than I was at the beginning of summer, 4 months ago. I read a book by beautiful author and friend, Jo Kadlecek this summer and something she wrote really stuck out to me:

"I have come to believe that writing is double-edged fear: You fear having your words, your thoughts, and your stories read, but you fear more that they will never be read at all."

Those words are so descriptive of my approach to writing. Half the time I don't stop to write my stories, musings, ect. because I think, "no one reads it anyway" and the other half of the time I don't because I'm afraid someone actually will read it.

Too many things in my life are run by fear. I don't watch certain movies because I'm afraid I'll have weird, disturbing dreams. I drive the speed limit because I'm afraid I'll get a ticket. I workout because I'm afraid I eat too much junk...and the list goes on and on. Obviously not all those fears are bad things, but, overwhelmed by them all, I find myself unwilling to give in to some of them.

And so here I am, back to blogging, making another attempt at putting together meaningful sentences, though no one may ever read them, because though I live under the weight of the double-edged fear of writing, I refuse to let it completely overtake me.

fear, harry potter and 3D

NOTE: I just realized that though I wrote this at the beginning of the month and never remembered to post it! Just imagine that its Aug. 7th!

Steve and I went to see the latest Harry Potter movie last night as part of our anniversary celebration. One of the new fun things about the area we just moved to is that the local movie theater has an imax theater in it. Since Steve had never seen a regular movie on an imax screen we figured we'd splurge for the extra $4 tickets and check it out. In addition to being an imax movie it ended up being in 3D...actually I should say the first 15 minutes of it were in 3D - at least those 15 minutes were cool though!

As we sat watching in 3D I was lucky enough to witness one of the high school girls in front of me reaching out to touch the images in front of her. Suddenly I was reminded of my last 3D experience - sitting in the Honey I Shrunk the Kids show (I think!) at Disney world. I specifically remember putting my hand out at several points in awe of the fact that I couldn't actually touch the images that were appearing before me. Unfortunately I soon afterward became freaked out by the characters rushing toward my face and spent the rest of the show either with my eyes shut or my 3D glasses off.

It was such a refreshing reminder of how easily I'm overtaken by irrational fear. I'm proud to say that at least this fear was one I overcame: I was able to sit through the whole film - 3D glasses on - eyes open!

Some shots of our anniversary celebrations: